Do You Know...

- Piano Student (Second Grade Girl: "Do you know Nora?"

- Me: "Well, I do know a few people named Nora, but I'm not sure any are the Nora you're talking about."

- Student: "She has red hair."

- Me: "Oh, sorry. Then I don't know her."

- Student: "But she said she takes piano lessons."

- Me: "Maybe she goes to a different teacher?"

- Student: "But she said her teacher is very nice and very funny."

- Me: "Well that's very nice of you to say, but it's not me...sorry."

- Student: "Oh, OK. (Pause) Do you know Jessica?"

Happy Birthday!

- Piano Student (9 year old boy): "Tomorrow's my mom's birthday!"

- Me: "Hey, that's great! Are you doing anything?"

- Student: "Yeah, we're taking her to dinner, and giving her a present. My dad said she'll love it because it's something she really needs."

- Me: "Can I ask what it is?"

- Student: "Laser hair removal!"

Get A Job

- Piano Student (7 yr. old boy pointing to a photo of my wife and I on the piano): "Who's that?"

- Me: "That's my wife."

- Student: "Oh yeah, sometimes I see her on my way into lessons, but usually I don't. How come she's not here all the time?"

- Me: "Because she has to go to work."

- Student: "You mean like a job?"

- Me: "Yes, a job."

- Student (pauses): "How come you don't have a job?"

- Me: "Teaching piano is my job."

- Student: "Yeah, but it's not a real job."

- Mother's voice from out in the hall: "ROBERT!!!" (not student's real name)

Little Don Juan

- Piano Student (2nd grade boy comes into lesson with a long face, sits on the bench and lets out a long sigh)

- Me:  Are you OK?

- Student:  Yeah.  I'm just upset because me and my girlfriend broke up.

- Me (Surprised but sympathetic):  Oh, I'm sorry.  I know that can be tough.

- Student (shrugging):  Well, I guess I'm just going to have to go out with another girl who loves me.

- Me:  Well, at least you know there's another.

- Student (looking at me like I'm nuts):  Patrick, there are like TEN.  I just have to figure out which one.

Halitosis

Monday, November 11, 2013

- Piano Student (2nd grade boy - age 7):  Hey, do you know what?

- Me:  No, what's going on?

- Student:  My friend stopped taking piano lessons because his teacher had really bad breath. 

- Me (nervously):  Oh wow...that's too bad.

- Student:  Yeah, I told him he should take lessons from my teacher because you're really funny, really nice and your breath doesn't stink!

Friday, November 8th, 2013

- Piano Student (4th grade boy):  You know what I really want for dinner?

- Me:  I have no idea.

- Student:  FRESH ziti.  Boy, do I love FRESH ziti.

- Me:  Oh, so you like ziti?

- Student:  Yeah, but it has to be FRESH.

- Student's Mother (from hallway):  I heard you the first time and we're having chicken tonight.

A Very Dangerous Job

I am a music teacher and have been giving private piano and drum lessons for the last ten years. I moved operations to my home about five years ago where I have a little studio on the bottom floor.  The kids come up my driveway, and enter through a door located next to the garage. Once inside, there is a hallway with chairs where they wait - if need be - for the lesson before to end. Many students come with a parent. I also have students who come with siblings; one goes while the other waits with their mom or dad, then they switch.

From Monday to Friday between the hours of 3:00 and 8:00 PM, I manage to see over 30 students.  They range in age from 4 to 19, and cover every grade from pre-k right on up to college. Some of my students have special needs; most are typically developing; and some are shy while others have personalities that battle the piano for space in the studio. Some have a very personal love of music.  Some work really hard while others don't practice...ever. Regardless of who they are or where they come from, I love teaching them. They are all unique in their own way, and bring me a gift every lesson. This could be in the form of a funny comment, observation or even a passing remark.  Regardless, this is what served as inspiration for this blog.

About 2 years ago, I began posting some of the comments the kids made on my Facebook page.  Many of these would receive 20 to 50 "Likes" at a time. Often they were accompanied by a suggestion of "You have to write a book with all of these things in them!", or "I look forward to these posts...please write a book with all of them in it!"  Often times, the posts were taken off my FB page and shared with others.  I soon realized people liked what my students were saying to me in their lessons, but never realized the extent.

I had the privilege of studying Dalcroze Eurhythmics at The Juilliard School. Eurhythmics is a specific method of teaching music, and I got to study with the late Robert Abramson (AKA "Dr. Bob") one of the more regarded experts in the method. I not only studied the methods, but also the philosophies and writings of Jaques Dalcroze himself - the man who created this great way of teaching music. I learned a lot of amazing things, and many came at the hands of Abramson himself.  One thing he said to me that I will never forget: "Teaching music is a very dangerous job."  I initially thought this was a bit extreme - it's not like I wear a hard hat to work! "When young people come into your classes or lessons, they are coming in to learn an art form. They are coming into an aesthetic learning environment and will be opening themselves up wholly to you. If you're not careful, you can say or do the wrong thing and hurt them emotionally.  There are many young people out there who have been screwed up by their music teacher." That made sense.

When my students come into their lessons, sometimes they just start talking. Usually, I'll just let them talk and am often surprised by what they say - but like Dr. Bob said - they are opening themselves up.  I will never cut them off.  The results are what will be the brunt of what you read here. Some of the things are hilarious. Some are sweet. Most of them are pure innocence. Ironically - many have nothing to do with music.

No names will ever be used but ages and/or grades will be shown. I'll also let you know if it's a girl or a boy. Remember that this stuff was all said directly to me and as you will see - it's pure entertainment.

Please enjoy the Wisdom From  The Piano Bench!